Restricted

Even though now I am able to talk more with you when I see you, I feel restricted as to what I am saying. I am afraid that using words I normally use with you will scare you or change things for the worse. I am still not used to it, not being able to call you dear, not being to say things as they come to my mind for fear of sounding too friendly.. I really wanted to. This holding myself back is wearing me out.. >.< The quietness is making me lonely again.. I want to be able to talk for hours again with you..